HCG Check & Updates

Today was another HCG check day. I begrudgingly forced myself to get up early & go in around the same time as I always have (so the numbers are accurate, duh! -crazy paranoid preggo lady).

I got a call a little after lunch from the nurse & she said my Dr, “thinks your numbers are great!”

Of, course this alone was not enough for me so I asked, like I always do, what my HCG was. It was 4037!!!!!!! 

I feel like I keep repeating myself in saying I’ve never had numbers this high before. Once I heard they’re now 4037, I feel like we can rest a little easier now. Scott feels the same.

Right now, I’m just taking it one day at a time & being immensely thankful for the good news we’ve had so far. I’m trying to stay out of catastrophizing that something will go wrong & staying in the place of waiting for the shoe to drop at any second so to speak.

In other news, preggo wise, I started having actual symptoms this week. I threw up Tuesday & I was the MOST excited person on earth about it (because it meant things were going well)! LOL IDK if it was the preggo hormones, or my bronchitis/sinus infection…but I’m going to choose to believe it has something to do with the pregnancy. Also, turn away men, my boobs are HIGHLY sensitive & are now an odd color (TMI lol). Other than that, I’m just extremely sleepy all the time. On top of just being pregnant, the progesterone also helps this along. I took a 2.5 hour nap this evening & I feel like I could nap again. NOTE: I am in now way complaining about any of this, in fact I love it. lol Any positive symptoms are always welcome because that makes me feel like things are going okay.

I have repeat labs again Monday & Thursday, & then, the next week, we have another ultrasound & our first OB appt on Tuesday!!!!!  *squeal

Please continue to keep us in you prayers. We are hoping things continue to go as they are 🙂

The Results Are In

Yesterday did not start like any other day. Scott ALWAYS, not usually-always-gets up before me & heads downstairs to catch up on some TV, while I usually sleep another hour or two. That did not happen yesterday as my family had spent the night beforehand & my snoring dad was passed out in front of the recliner, preventing Scott’s TV getaway.

I got up after I heard my nephew screech a few times-the kid really likes to scream-& headed into the bathroom to take a pregnancy test. Sure enough, it was positive. It read just as it had the last time PREGNANT 1-2. I held my breath a little reading it this time, thinking back to when I’d last seen it just two months earlier.

I clumsily headed toward the bed where Scott was playing on his phone at that point, saying, “happy Birthday, daddy,” since his Birthday is today.

My HCG was already scheduled since we did another round of Femera this cycle. I called this morning to verify & told them what my doctor had said about immediately starting Levonox injections. They told me to come on in to their office &, as long as I got there before lunch, they could draw my blood in the lab there.

Silly receptionist, I was already half ready. I went into the bathroom & had a little bit of dingy colored spotting & thought oh, no. It’s over before it even started again.

Once I got to the office, I walked, okay shuffled my feet, in thinking the worst. Wondering if my HCG would even register still, catastrophizing my numbers would be in the gutter. I told the nurse about the spotting & she went to ask my Dr. about the PIO (progesterone in oil) injection. She gave the go ahead to give it just to be safe due to the spotting.

Through all the fertility treatments we’ve done, I’d never had a PIO injection. Ever. Not one. I’d read horror stories about them. In fact, a friend of mine told me one such horror story just before I headed back this morning. So I was a little nervous. Turns out, it’s not THAT bad. It did feel very strange going on due to the thickness of it & I got a little dizzy/nauseous at that point but it was fine. Mostly, it bothered me afterwards more than anything because it was sore & just plain odd feeling.

3 hours went by, I’d heard nothing. I don’t think the person who calls people with results knew what they were dealing with here. I am a crazy 3 round IUI, 2 round IVF veteran, with a shit ton of Clomid & Femera in between, not to mention the miscarriages, so I was NOT so patiently waiting at home.

I called myself to not so gently remind them that I needed the results. I got a call back from the nurse saying, “Your BETA HCG was positive & she wants you to come back in for a repeat on Wednesday & another progesterone shot.”

I asked what the numbers were and here they are: HCG 62, Progesterone 33.

For me, this is really good because I’ve NEVER had a first HCG that high before. If I’m not mistaken the most recent one was in the 20’s when they drew the first time.

In addition to going back in on Wednesday, they are suppose to call my Levonox injections in as well. I’m also suppose to keep taking the oral Progesterone.

Send us all the prayers/thoughts/good vibes/& everything you have!!!!!!!!

Also, please do not mention this on any social media. We aren’t ready to announce yet &, as I said last time, I have about a million adorable announcements planned. If that alone is not a deterrent enough, I’ve been infertile & on several fertility drugs for a while now, don’t make me cut you 😛

 

Bump Day

So, apparanrly, it’s something called #bumpday today. For me, & many other courageous women I know, this isjust another not so happy day to add to the laundry list of things that are difficult with infertility.

You see, not everyone can get a bump. &, even for those of us who can, sometimes that’s all it visually amounts to be..a small bump. The majority of women who post bump pictures, etc will do something a few of us will not be able to do…months, or weeks after celebrating bump day & the like, they will go on to post pictures of beautiful babies. Babies that are able to be born, taken home, & loved more-longer-the way it’s suppose to be.

So much of infertility is the way things are not suppose to be.

So, if you’re like me & bump day is hard for you, might I suggest the following:

1. Be gentle to yourself. Accept that this hard & it is for a reason. As John Green wrote, “It hurts because it mattered.”

2.  Engage in self-care. Whatever that looks like for you. For me, it’s taking long hot baths to the beat of my iPhone surrounded by candles in a dark room. Just do whatever it is you need to do for yourself that day. 

3. Know that your small bump matters. It mattered to you, it mattered to your partner, & your family. & you know something? It still matters. Remember that. 

Sending hugs to all my infertility sisters & brothers on this very difficult day. Xo

Bump 2/2 for me. Fly high, my babies 👼🏼👼🏼