Infertility is such a small word for something that is so large. It encompasses soooooo many things. Emotions (& let’s be honest, ALL the emotions), the stages of grief (on repeat), &, for many, financial hardship. And let’s not forget that one half of the equation, the ladies, are often hyped up on fertility meds while going through this whirlwind. With that being said, it’s no wonder that, in the midst of our struggle, we are much more sensitive people. We are emotionally raw. Drained of emotion, money, &, sometimes, hope.
Yesterday, I stumbled upon a blog written by a blogger friend of mine on the subject of being pregnant after infertility & feeling as if you have a foot in two completely different worlds. What she meant was this: it is difficult to know what to say to others who also happen to be struggling when you yourself have, hopefully, crossed over. Why? Because you know having the perfect thing to say is impossible. Secondly, she shared that she hadn’t blogged much on infertility or pregnancy since getting a BFP because she wasn’t sure how it would effect others who had not yet gotten their’s. How would they react? Would they be angry, hurt, sad? Would followers feel she was no longer relevant in the infertility blogger scene?
I understand all of the those thoughts & emotions because I had them too. While I haven’t shared much on my pregnancy on the blog, I have on my social media, specifically Facebook & Instagram. For me, any feedback I’ve gotten has been positive. I’ve had several people tell me that my story inspires them &, to my shock, that they even loved seeing pictures of my growing belly. I’ve also received some messages & comments asking me questions about treatments, doctors, & the like, which I don’t mind at all to answer because I want this pregnancy to give others hope. I want it to serve as an example that you can do treatment after treatment that is unsuccessful & arrive at this point in the end. I remember the moment I lost all hope. It was at our follow up consult after the second IVF had failed. Our old RE told us he could do IVF again if we wanted him to but didn’t really have much confidence in it as my egg quality was bad &, “science hasn’t caught up to do anything about that yet.” He gave us our chances of getting pregnant on our own, 1-2%. So we left that day, not saying much to each other, & returned to our busy lives apart from each other, all the while feeling numb. I remember the ache of giving up all too well &, if I can help anyone else not feel that way, I so want to do that.
By the same token, as I’ve said before on this blog, I realize that everyone is at a different place in their journey at any given time. I knew this before we ever got positives this year so I prepared myself, once things started to look a little more promising with this pregnancy, that I would likely loose followers on Instagram & maybe even here on WordPress. And I got it. Sometimes, when you’re in a bad place with all of this, you just can’t emotionally handle seeing pregnancy updates & the like. I’ve been there. So if there are those who can’t, at this moment, bring themselves to view such things, I support them in caring for themselves in the way that they need.
I think, instead of judging others for their actions, we as people need to be more understanding in a general sense, not just with infertility.
Friends, infertility is so, so hard. It’s all encompassing & takes so much out of you on a regular basis. Let’s love & support one another, during the holiday season & always. ❤
P.S. As we are quickly coming to a close on another year, I want to say THANK YOU again to each & every person who has followed our story. Every person that has hoped with us when we could not, cried with us, rejoiced with us, PRAYED for us, we thank you from the bottom of our hearts. We could not have done this without you. Xo