Helicopter Husband & Other Looming Thoughts

Scott E. M.: Helicopter fur dad turned helicopter husband!

Last night, I asked if he’d brought popcorn salt for the popcorn. He said, “Oh, no,” to which I replied I can get that.

“NO, NO, NO!” & then RAN to beat me getting up from the couch in my grandma way of doing so lately. Later, when we were going to bed, I walked toward the door-“What are you doing??”
“Locking the door?”
“NO! Bad! Stay right there, I can do it!”
When we were about to walk upstairs, he then places his hands under my arms because, “you were dizzy earlier today!”
That night, I got nauseous..when he asked if there was anything he could get I told him no because we didn’t have any.
“What??”
“Sprite. But that’s okay, I could use my handicap parking pass & ride the scooter around Walmart to get it.”
“ABSOLUTELY NOT!!!! You are not leaving the house! I am taking your keys!!”
“Okay, daddy…..just wait till all my social work friends here about this..” LOL

Along with the above conversation, another followed once we were tucked in bed. He told me that he was so worried this wouldn’t work and didn’t want to put too much faith in it. I told him I didn’t want to be too optimistic about it either, for fear of getting hurt even more in the end. Honestly, I feel like the stakes are soooo much higher with IVF than they were for any of the IUIs (not that I am discounting anyone going through those).

With IVF, there’s the obvious ATROCIOUS amount of financial burden. There’s also so much more emotional taxing that’s involved because of the multiple injections daily, more appointments, an actual surgical (in nature) procedure with egg retrieval, not to mention the physical issues that come up!

With all of that being said, the stakes are obviously so much higher for this to work this time around.

If things do not pan out, the question becomes how far are we willing to go?

For me, I feel like I’d be willing to do a frozen embryo transfer if these don’t take this time around. In a few years, I’d be willing to try IVF again but, as we don’t have 8,000 more dollars lying around, it won’t be for a while.The total cost of the IVF was 12, 000. We paid 8,000 & will have a monthly payment of around 500$ after this process is over.

We also only had the money to do this at all thanks, to a windfall that resulted from my injuries in a car accident coming through at just the right time.

The question also becomes, how much am I willing to put my body through in pursuit of this? How many more times do I want to increase my risk of ovarian and breast cancer? How many more times do I want injections for weeks at a time? How many more times will I have egg retrievals and transfers? How many more times am I willing to waddle around for 2 weeks & have my life revolve around this? How many times am I willing to be put into situations that aggravate my PTSD?

I don’t know….I don’t really feel like I can answer that right now…not in a final sense anyway.

I guess we’ll find out at the end of our TWW. I really hope we don’t have to put any more thought into it & get our BFP!


Random question for those who’ve undergone egg retrieval: Were you told not to do any heavy lifting afterwards? 

5 thoughts on “Helicopter Husband & Other Looming Thoughts

  1. Hey you. I don’t know the answer to the question about how much you’ll put your body through. I felt after our first cycle that I couldn’t even imagine doing it again. It’s pretty gruelling. But six months on we will probably be starting it all over again. I guess it depends if you can cover it financially too… That is really tough.

    Re egg retrieval – I was sedated and I really can’t remember it! I wasn’t told not to do any heavy lifting but I did sort of just lie on the sofa all weekend and sleep! So I probably didn’t do any heavy lifting unless you count Dog! They didn’t specifically tell me not to, though – I just felt very tired for a few days.

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  2. You don’t have to and really can’t answer those questions at this time… And that’s ok. All you can do is stay in the moment, say your prayers and keep walking your path. I hope and pray that it works for you both. You will be such wonderful loving parents. Because you are wonderful loving people. Blessings and peace.

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