This year’s NEDA Week slogan is #itstimetotalkaboutit so let’s talk about it.
For more than a decade of my life, my only source of gratification was in obsessively working out-though working out is a poor word choice for what I was actually doing to myself.
It made me feel accomplished & strong when, in all actuality, it was making me the complete opposite of both.
As a friend once said to me a few years ago about her own eating disorder, “I have a lot more to live for now than hip bones & collar bones.”
Presently, I am truly accomplished in healthy ways. I got my MSW & CSW this past year. I’m, finally, going to be a human mom, in addition to a dog mom (& my man child 😜).
Those, those things, are accomplishments.
I no longer feel I have to go to a gym or stay on a machine for X amount of hours to feel worthy as a person. There is no worth in deterioration & it won’t make you any less unhappy. It may for a while, a brief while, & then it will be gone. Just like you.
After years, I am thankful to know that I am worthy just how I am, regardless of what I’ve eaten on a particular day or how many hours I’ve put in. I am worthy just because I am. I hope that you know you’re too &, if you don’t, there is help out there.
Disorderly Love 