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Big News

A little late putting this on WordPress buttttt Eli has something he wants to tell everyone…….

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We are shocked to say the least. It’s hard to believe that we were once told we had a 1-2% chance of having children & should just give up. It’s hard to believe the IUIs, the medicated cycles, & even the end all be all of infertility world, IVF, failed…twice…&, now, somehow, we are going to be parents of two under two.

If you would’ve told me this would be our reality two years ago, I would’ve laughed at you…or, lets be honest, punched you in the face because I was pretty bitter at times through our infertility battle lol

We are without words & so, so thankful.

We have had one big scare this pregnancy so far. After Eli’s Birthday party, I started bleeding & thought to myself, “here we go again,” because I was sure I was miscarrying as bleeding was always the first sign I had. Miraculously, the ultrasound tech flipped the screen around & casually said, “So there’s the heartbeat.”

I thought to myself, “What?!” with my eyebrow raised. The baby measured fine & on target & had a good heart rate BUT the ER doc did tell me I had a subchorionic hemorrhage. He asked if I wanted to be put on progesterone as a precaution & I said yes, so he called my OB who agreed.

I’ve had two more follow ups with her office since then, plus one more ultrasound, which still looked good as far as size & heart rate, but the suchchorionic hemorrhage had grown last time /:

At this point, we are watching it closely & I’ll have regular appointments &, at least, monthly ultrasounds. We’re hoping it resolves soon.

Again, I’d like to thank everyone for following along with our journey, cheering for us, & praying for us along the way. It has meant so much ❤

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Our Frozen Embryo & Family Growing

When I finally gave birth to Eli, I’d came to a decision on our frozen embryo…or at least I thought I had. After all the heartache & uncertainty surrounding whether we’d ever have a child of our own, & alllllll of the anxiety over my pregnancy with him, I was at a place, & still am, that I got what I prayed for & was content. If we never have another biological child, we will still be infinitely blessed. It was & has been everything I ever wanted & could have dreamed.

Now, on our frozen embryo, my feelings were initially that I never wanted to put my body through any more fertility drugs ever again. They’re a bitch & effect you fiercely. They also increase your chances of certain cancers & that, to me, as well as my husband who is in the field of cancer treatment, is scary.

At the same time, when I saw our last two embryos, one of whom is still frozen, on my Timehop yesterday from 2 years ago, I couldn’t help but feel something for them…it’s OUR baby…or could be if it survives the thaw & the stars align…nevertheless, it’s very hard to come to terms with the concept of giving away our child….or leaving them frozen forever…or, worse yet, throwing them away.

Also, oddly, someone I went to school with yesterday contacted me asking me about fertility treatment. She shared that she had went through a lot to have her first child, also had endometriosis, was struggling to get pregnant again, & was told by her OB that, while the laparoscopy helped increase pregnancy odds the first time, it did not subsequence times…which makes me a bit nervous.

Before infertility, I wanted 5 children…& then dropped to 3 lol If it weren’t for infertility now, I’d want all the babies 😀 & we do still want to adopt. Strangely, after having Elijah I want to adopt now more than ever. When I’d hold him & take care of him in the early days, I remember one time in particular I just cried when thinking of all the babies who are left to cry & not cared for in this world. That to me is heartbreaking. I am so glad he will always know love & never have to wonder if his parents will follow through for him. I want to give that to another child who may never know that same fierce love.

For the moment, like I wrote about earlier, we have decided to actively TTC again as my OB recommended. I’ve already bought an ovulation kit & plan on using two STORK OTCs again this cycle. We’ll see where it takes us.

Again, sorry the blog is a bit slower nowadays & a heartfelt thank you, to all of those who continue following along on this crazy ride with us. We love & appreciate each of you! ❤