2

The Move

“There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have altered.” -Nelson Mandela

As I said in an earlier post, we moved a week after Elijah was born (because we are certifiably insane lol). What I don’t believe I mentioned was that the move was to an area Scott & I are both from. To give a bit of a backstory, because his job is so specialized, it doesn’t offer many positions in certain areas. Unfortunately, the, “small,” city we lived in didn’t have any openings & the uncertainty of his former job continued to loom over our heads. So, with being responsible for a new human life & all, we chose to bite the bullet & leave before his position was cut. We had a few choices in bordering states, as well as some down in Florida but chose to go closer to family since a job opportunity was here. Here specifically being Eastern, Kentucky.

For my U.K.. & out of state followers: Eastern, KY is a different sort of place than the rest of the U.S. It’s a very rural area with not nearly as much forward thinking as the rest of the states have to offer. It was also an area that massively helped Donald Trump gain victory in the election….let that tell you what it will. lol

With that being said, there have been a few things about living here that have bothered us.

For one, for the most part, the people here don’t trust other people & are leery of outsiders. One quick way we were reminded of this was noticing it’s rare for people to smile at you or smile back at you. I’ve heard of this also being the case in NY as there are just so many people & the lifestyle is so fast paced but I find it interesting this is also the case here. One reason I think this mentality is present in the area is, years ago when out of state people came into the area, they presented these legal documents to Appalachian people who could not read to sell their mineral rights for next to no money & ripped them off big time. Ever since, it seems as if the don’t trust outsiders has remained a common theme.

Something that ties into people not trusting others is that the area, minus within individual churches, is there isn’t a sense of community. What I mean by this is that, unlike places like Lexington, there aren’t any groups like mom groups.. There are no weekly or even monthly events within the community. I had even, going out on a limb, posted on Facebook before the move back asking if anyone wanted to get together for a stroller group sort of thing with their children. Zero interest lol Not one person commented & there are a lot of people on my FB from here.

Another thing my husband, his manager (who lived away from the area for a few years as well), several other people he works with that live out of the state & commute, & myself have noticed is that a lot more people who live here are rude. For example, we were grocery shopping last week &, while I was getting Elijah out of the baby wrap, a lady came up behind me. The parking spaces were at an odd angel so I asked her if that was her car she was trying to get to. She replied it was & I moved over, shutting the door a bit to let her through. My husband came around by that time to put him in his car seat. As he was strapping him in, the woman starts backing up &, had he not stepped out to hold his hand up, would have taken out my car door that she could see was present the entire time. When he closed the door, she backed out & sped off. His manager, who Scott shared this story with, said she’d experienced much of the same while living here & even noticed it in the elementary school her children go to.

THIS IS NOT TO SAY THAT ALL PEOPLE LIVING HERE ARE RUDE, I know a lot of really good people living here/who are from the area.

There’s also a depressed feeling being in the area because it is so rural. There is A LOT more poverty concentrated here than other places. There are a lot of empty run down buildings sitting around, along with some run down ones that are still occupied. In the place we’re currently renting, we’ve seen a few run down or empty homes as well.

There’s also just not a lot of diversity here. I.E. white is the racial majority & you don’t even see a lot of people from other groups. Among other things.

With all of the above, compounded with the fact that you are away from common conveniences (like the mall, Target, Starbucks, a wide selection of restaurants), you are also away from good healthcare/specialty healthcare as well. For example, Elijah needs suck training so I’ll be taking him to Lexington for that biweekly because it’s not something that’s offered here. My husband & I, along with his family that lives here, don’t trust the hospitals in the area &, if possible, would make the drive to Lexington anyway for better care. Fact: 2 out of 4 of my grandparents died in a hospital here due to the fault of the hospital. So yeah, it’s not exactly a promising place to be here.

I asked my cousin who had tried moving back to the area before how he had managed & what his experience had been. For him, it was much of the same, adding, “Once you move away & your perspective of the world changes on every level, you become inherently different.” He also agreed that there is definitely a depressive energy in the air. On surviving it, his advice was to, “try to find people you can relate to…& buy lots of alcohol.” LOL

While I won’t be following the latter part of that advice, Scott & I have already came to the realization that we cannot stay here. Our plan is to ride out the year (as we are locked in per his contract) & then, ideally, move back to Lexington or another city we’d feel more at home in.

I am not saying Eastern, KY is an awful place with nothing to offer the rest of the world. I think it has a lot to offer. What I’m saying is that, once you leave & are use to a totally different lifestyle, it’s very hard to live here again.

In other life update news, we will be moving within he next month…again thanks, to our crapyy landlord/living situation. The AC has never worked upstairs, despite us bringing this up to him, & his solution to cool the 3 bedrooms & 2 baths up there was to, “provide a window unit.” We can also hear our neighbors through the walls, as well as any & all traffic noise. So yeah, it’s not working out lol We will still be living in the area because of the contract, just not here.

I also need to give an update on our breastfeeding journey & what that has entailed but that’s for another post.

Have a beautiful week, friends!

5

A Late Update

My apologies for updating everyone a bit late! I had planned to right after our appointment but we didn’t find out the results until late that evening & I was on the road.

Our ultrasound was at 10 yesterday at the hospital, which totally helped with the whole anxiety element. Scott met me there. Surprisingly, I even had to wear one of those fun/itchy hospital bands for it that he later cut off with his pocket knife.

When we were called back, the tech asked why I was getting the ultrasound so I filled her in & also told her what the Dr. had told me in regards to what they were looking for. She nodded & then informed me I’d be having two ultrasounds done, an abdominal one & also a transvaginal to check the cervical length. First I’ve heard of this, I thought. Even more fun.

Baby had, we think, just woken up when she started because his heartbeat was 132 (it’s usually a lot higher) & he wasn’t moving around quite as much as he normally does…this soon changed when he realized what was happening & she struggled getting him to hold still. Kid hates ultrasounds…& dopplers, apparently. Always moves away! She even called him rotten. She took a bunch of measurements & pointed out a few things to us in regards to where certain body systems were. We also got to hear how much he currently weighs for the first time, which was exciting. One pound & 10 ounces as of yesterday, I believe. He measured a week ahead on height, which isn’t surprising given my husband & father in law’s stature.

Then came time for the fun part, another round with the dildo cam! Which, just let me say, is even more fun when you have a bigger baby floating around inside you. We were not amused. While she was moving it around she told me she needed to check my cervix so she’d have to push on my abdomen & it would probably be uncomfortable. Yep, no questions asked about the uncomfortable. She did this twice, then it was over.

We were on our way to the OB’s office….where we’d wait, & wait, & wait.

Apparently, thanks to some idiotic new system the company has as a whole, my Dr. couldn’t get the results of the ultrasound to interpret. We waited an hour & 30 minutes &, at that point, the Dr. came in to apologize that they still couldn’t access the ultrasounds. We were told we’d get a call when they did on those.

She  explained again what they were looking for on the ultrasounds & said she could do another exam since we were there. At that point, we both felt like, since we were there anyway, we may as well in case anything else came up. She noted my discharge still looked better & then checked my cervix again (ouch) to make sure it was still closed. She said that it was still thick & closed.

And then we waited…….until 4 that evening for ultrasound results. Finally, the nurse called me & said that the cervical length was 4 & that was good. Cervix also appeared competent & the placenta was no where near the cervix, just like they were hoping for.

So all is, thankfully, good. We are guessing the brown spotting I had this week was just old blood from my cervix being irritated from the meds I’d just finished.

THANK YOU, TO EVERYONE WHO SAID PRAYERS FOR US, SENT GOOD THOUGHTS, & ASKED ABOUT US!!!!!! I am so sorry it took me so long to update. I was driving when I got the call & then my friend took me out for my Birthday a day early so I didn’t get home till late & then was exhausted by the time I did.

We appreciate you all more than you will ever know. ❤

6

The Scare: Take Two

Early on, we had a scare when I had some spotting around the fifth week of pregnancy. Thankfully, things ended up being just fine (despite my meltdown & being sure we were headed for another miscarriage).

Sunday, I noticed some odd discharge when getting up that morning. It happened again soon after, only that time showing up as a very light brown color. If you’ve ever had experienced pregnancy loss, you know that any kind of colored discharge is likely to trip you out. So, naturally, like any sane person (jk) I text pictures of said terrifying discharge to my friend who happens to be a nurse practitioner. Her response started with, “don’t panic,” &, of course, I panicked as I continued reading. She said she was going to send it to her OB friend to see what her thoughts were. Commence BIGGER freakout.

After some deliberation with my husband, who love his heart was trying to calm me down, I called my OB’s after hours line to ask the on call person about it. After I filled her in, she said that it shouldn’t be colored like that & I needed to come in the next morning. Also, if any bleeding happened, I needed to call her back ASAP.

Fast forward to the Dr’s office today: I saw the lady I’d talked to on the phone over the weekend. She did an exam & tested for several things, since I’d been having recurring issues with yeast, UTI’s. Turns out, I have another yeast infection, which is less of a big deal, & BV, kind of a big deal.

BV can increase the chance of premature labor. Reignite panic mode. I have antibiotics for both infections & am hoping they resolve without any complications to the pregnancy at this point. Still, it’s a very scary situation for someone who has already experienced losses before.

I have antibiotics for both the BV & yeast. The game plan is to take those, call if things worsen this week, wait for the results of the other things she swabbed for (one was group b strep, can’t remember the rest), & be re-checked at my next regular OB appointment on the 2nd.

Please send up some prayers for us & that our little guy. I need an uneventful pregnancy from here on out…a lot less stress in tow!

0

Impromptu Pregnancy Update

We have declared this week the week of sickness at our house. Last Saturday, Scott was diagnosed with the flu. Commence panic for paranoid preggo afraid of any & all complications lol Despite the quarantine (him sleeping in another room the rest of the weekend) I was sure I was also coming down with it also Sunday night. Thankfully, the feeling passed & I’m guessing, luckily, it was just sinuses. Despite that, I was still feeling pretty  lethargic & didn’t know why until I went to the Dr. today. Before this happened, even our fur baby Sophie came down with stomach woes (I.E. had explosive diarrhea for two days) & ended up having to go in for IV fluids. 😦

Anyway, on what lead to the impromptu trip to my OB’s office, yesterday I was fairly certain I either had a yeast infection or a UTI. I got in to see my Dr’s nurse practitioner this morning & guess what? I have BOTH. The week of sickness continues lol She said it was a good thing I’d came in because UTI’s in pregnancy can lead to premature birth (which I’d read because I’m crazy & read everything that could go wrong lol). Semi less dramatically, I was also informed, if it spread to the bladder, pregnant women had to be hospitalized & receive IV antibiotics. For the infections, I’m currently on 4 days worth of antibiotics for the UTI until they get the additional culture back on Monday to see where we need to go from there. I also have a 7 day supply of a yeast infection med.

Before any of these glorious infections were discovered, she measured my fundal height & listened to baby’s heartbeat with a tiny handheld machine. The measurement was right at 20 weeks & the heartbeat (156 I believe) was good & loud (yay!). She even added his growth & heart rate were, “perfect.” 🙂

& now, since I’m writing this, on to a pregnancy update I didn’t expect for another two weeks!

How far along? 20 weeks 4 days

Gender: Boy

Weight Gain? 7 pounds

Maternity Clothes? YES! They’re basically all I wear pant wise (& have been for the past month I’d say) & the shirts are super comfortable as well. My favorite bands are Motherhood Maternity & Pink Blush Maternity. If I had to pick a favorite item I’d go with my maternity leggings. I’ve also preggo leveled up & now need maternity underwear, as well as bras that I need to venture out for soon.

Stretch Marks? I’m not sure if they were already there? lol but I’ve noticed some on the sides of my hips

Belly button in or out? In

Sleep: For the most part, this is still okay. I have had some random bouts of pregnancy insomnia. My nightly peeing had slowed down in the second trimester but has went insane this week…& now we know why. I’ve also decided I need to invest in a pregnancy wedge like yesterday because it is hard for me to get comfortable sometimes (I was a belly & back sleeper).

Best moment this week: Unexpectedly hearing little man’s heartbeat today!!!!! It was especially reassuring given the infections scare. Also, his placenta is anterior which makes it harder for me to feel him move. I’ve thought I’ve felt movement a few times but can’t be sure that’s what it is most of the time. She said that, eventually, he’ll outgrow the placenta & feeling movement wouldn’t be a problem. Her estimate on feeling movement in this situation was 21 to 22 weeks.

Symptoms: I’ve lived in the bathroom & been fatigued lately but, again, I think that’s more from the infections than anything pregnancy related. Aside from that, I’ve had back pain but that’s about it I think

Miss Anything? Sushi & wine. But I’d happily give that up for life if it meant I got to have this.

Cravings? Again…SUSHI!!!! &, oddly, rum…this baby is a pirate! 😛 I’ve actually craved sushi so badly I’ve informed Scott, immediately after I give birth, he is to go to a sushi place & bring back 3 rolls just for me…it’s getting intense over here! Cravings as far as things I can have: sweets!!!!!

Food aversions? In the first trimester, any & all forms of coffee! I couldn’t go in or walk past a Starbucks (yes, me). Any kind of seafood restaurant had the same reaction. Oddly, I also couldn’t eat red pastas, which for me, is unheard of because I can woof down a plate of pasta any day of the week. At this point, both have passed now.

Queasy or sick? Not anymore

Looking forward to? My next Dr’s appointment on the 2nd & our 4D ultrasound on Valentine’s Day! ❤ Oh, & our doula meeting next Tuesday!

Activity: Before the week of sickness struck, Scott & I had gotten memberships to a local gym & went twice a week. He lifts weights & I walk the track….where I get lapped by the elderly. LOL I had also ridden the stationary bikes there but, when we attended our info session at Babymoon, the instructor (owner/doula) recommended we steer away from that as that tightens the pelvic floor. She also didn’t recommend the elliptical for a reason I can’t remember. So I guess I’m left with walking, squats, & wall pushups for now.

Complications / Medications? Still taking Lovenox injections, baby Aspirin, & Methylfolate daily. Complications: none other than currently have both a yeast infection & UTI.

Nursery Update: We’ve picked out our theme & purchased a few things for it. I’m not sure how much or when we’ll post pictures of this since, in less than a week of announcing his name, two people conveniently decided to name their child Elijah….or something entirely too similar. So….that may be under wraps for a while! But we’re on it! Actually, we had a bit of a mishap on that this week. I’d ordered a SPECIFIC color rocking chair for that room & excitedly had it delivered a week early…to discover it was the wrong color. Still waiting to see if the seller is going to work with us on that, or if they want to see my wrath on Amazon…to be continued.

4

OB Appt. Take Two

A very late update that I apologize for.

Our appointment went really well! My Dr. said, more than once, she was so happy with how things were going & I seemed to be doing everything right.

A few highlights:

-She took me off of my Progesterone…which I am still internally panicking about a bit. I told her this & this was her response, “This is the stage of development where gender is developing so it’s going.” No negotiations were made on my behalf this go lol

-Our NT part 1 screening was normal. I can’t remember the exact number but the measurement was within normal range.

-Our next appointment & ultrasound, where we hopefully find out the gender (AHHH!!!!!!!!!!), is January 5th…so, so far away!

-Baby had their hand on their face, which was funny because my nephew had his hand covering his face on EVERY ultrasound my sister had!!! They also waved at us & showed they are already cry stubborn by refusing to roll over, despite the tech’s best efforts. But hey, maybe that stubbornness has paid off so far 😉

Today, we are now 14 weeks….again, blowing my mind. Before this, I had radically accepted this was something that would never happen for me…& I was trying to be okay with that. Now that it is finally happening after all these very hard tries & the painful losses, it’s very surreal. This week, I’ve been thinking back on our journey to here, specifically with both IVF failures, & I cannot fathom how we are here now. I know it has a lot more to do with the big Guy upstairs than anything else but the awww of this moment will never be lost on me. The most surreal thing that has ever happened to me. To say that we’re thankful is the biggest understatement of all.

Please continue to pray for us in our journey. I’m still anxious about losing my progesterone & now I have a suspected UTI that I’m being treated for with pregnancy safe antibiotics that still bring paranoia to someone who has fought so hard for this moment.

Sending love to all of you ❤

0

An Update In The Wait…..

A lot of you people have asked us questions lately relating to us becoming foster parents &/or our infertility journey.

Even though we have graduated foster classes & would love to purse fostering to adopt, we know full well this is not a guarantee & our situation may not turn into that. & that’s okay. After a lot of talking with each other, those closest to us, & lots of praying, we strongly feel that, one way or another, we will be parents by the end of the year. Whether this be by fostering to adopt, adoption, IVF 3, FET (frozen embryo transfer with our 1 frozen embie), adoption, or embryo adoption, we believe it is going to happen for us.

I’ve recently read, “However motherhood comes to you, it is a gift,” & I firmly believe that.
We may not know how but we are believing. We are just waiting to see what God has in store for us…..& that’s where we are right now.
Thank you, for following along in our journey!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
&, of course, there are always infertility updates here!