That’s what today has been comparable to for me.
It started with our 2nd monitoring appointment for this round of IVF. Our RE, after painfully jabbing the dildo wand around my ovaries, announced, “I’d say you have 17 follicles right now. They all are different sizes, some big and some small. But we may reduce your dose down.”
In a panic, my mind said woahhhhh now-I thought this was the very thing we were trying to avoid this time around as not to reduce egg quality??????? When asking him this, he responded that he remembered that conversation and, based on the blood work, wouldn’t lower it this time around.
Regardless, like any hormone drug induced individual, I lost my shit afterwards. I spent the last half of my lunch crying in the parking lot of my vehicle with several thoughts plaguing my mind. Would it make a difference this time, being that I only had 2 less follicles than my last 2nd monitoring appointment? Would they have to reduce my dose again and, consequently, compromise the quality of my eggs a second time? What if I just wouldn’t be a good mom? *Que more crying. After the waterfall, I tried convincing myself things may still work out…& focused on God’s promise that, “Nothing will be impossible for you.”
Thankfully, two hours later, our nurse called. She informed me that my blood work looked good & my estrogen levels were better than last time, as they were not as elevated. They were 699 on our first IVF 2nd monitoring appointment & today they were 552. Woooo, talk about a relief!
After that, I was on cloud 20. I’m back to being hopeful that this round may be our time…I feel like there have been too many signs for it not to be at this point.
What meds have I taken today?
Follism-F 150 units (donated to us by our IVF clinic. They said it was the same as Gonal-F & saved us hundreds of dollars by gifting it to us). We start Citrotide, my favorite shot (sarcasm lol) tomorrow. Our nurse told me that, based upon our RE’s prediction that retrieval would be Friday, the trigger shot would probably go off on Wednesday.
How do I feel today?
I no longer have diahrea!!!! Oh, happy dayyyyyyy! 😀 My symptoms today are: nausea, HUGE boobs, pangs in my ovaries, & sensitivity to smell. I’ve notice my ovaries are also on heightened sensitivity…thanks, to Sophie Belle our yorkie baby jumping on them. Her second in command, however, became very concerned when daddy got mama’s shot out…& then proceeded to protect her with all 130 pounds of him on her legs….
Daddy & his needles had nothing on this boy’s cuddle power.
How is Scott feeling today? He’s excitedly babbling about Halo otp with his brother &, in my clinical opinoin, sounding schizophrenic. LOL ;P In all seriousness, he has been my rock today when I wasn’t past the disappointing news before the sun broke through with the bits of good. He exemplified the, “when you’re weak, I’ll be strong,” today & I love him for that. I’m a lucky girl.
Plus, he even takes selfies with me to distract from my impending nervousness about appointments that potentially aggravate my PTSD…& even took the perfect pic of my IVF socks. If that isn’t love, what is friends?
Disorderly Love 