3

Losing Air

Today has been a very unexpectedly difficult day. Eli has been sick the past couple days (we’d thought it may be allergies at first because Kentucky lol & then saw that it was more over the weekend) so I took him into the Dr today. Poor guy has a double ear infection &, after we got this diagnosis & the Dr asked if there was anything else she could do for us, I thought I’d mention something I hadn’t really thought would be a big deal. It was.

A few weeks ago, my mom noticed that Eli’s butt crack was crooked (no fun medical terms here, just telling it how it is lol). She’d said my Dr’s use to tell her to watch for that when I was younger because it meant my hip was out (I had a lot of hip issues growing up & several surgeries). She looked at him & replied, “I think it’s definitely a legitimate concern.” She then said she’d go check to see if his well child visit was soon so, if it wasn’t, she could move it up when his regular pedi would be back. She came back with another Dr. with her who wanted to check him out. She looked at his legs, noticing, “a slight discrepancy in length,” felt his hips, & said she felt it may be more of his spine than hips. I was told, at his next visit, they’d probably want to do an ultrasound &/or an X-RAY to get a better idea of what is going on.

Hearing that something may be wrong with your child is one of the most awful things in the world because they ARE your world. The best way I can describe it is, it was like someone knocked the air out of me & pushed me under water. There I was with this little boy I thought was doing just fine & right on track in every way & now someone was telling me he may not be just fine.

Google, just like most things, isn’t exactly a good thing to consult on these issues. It’s like the meme that goes: “Just put my symptoms into Web MD..turns out I have cancer,” because you’re going to find literally the worst things. Something my husband & I have came across a lot is a scary thing called a tethered spine that requires surgery & can have neurological impacts. Reading that gives an entire new meaning to scared.

We can’t really do much at the moment but wait….& overthink….& be anxious….if you pray, please say a prayer that everything will be fine for our little Eli. Mama is a wreck & is extra emotional with the pregnancy plus progesterone 😦

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5

Losing Friends In Parenthood

It happens. For a variety of reasons, I suppose.

Since I’ve had Eli, I feel like I’ve definitely lost some, “friends.”

To be honest, this started happening somewhat during my pregnancy as well.

After Eli was born, I starting noticing this even more so in relationships  & some of them were very surprising. For instance, I would have thought that people who were supportive throughout our fertility struggles & even the pregnancy would have been really excited to meet him & be involved in our lives but that just hasn’t been the case.

First & foremost, I will acknowledge, because this began as an infertility blog, that one reason people in our lives may seemingly want nothing to do with our children & our new lives/roles, may be due to experiencing infertility themselves. WHICH IS TOTALLY & COMPLETELY UNDERSTANDABLE!!!!!!! I get that. I empathize with that.

Another reason my circle, like a lot of parents circles from what I hear, grew smaller could be that some people just don’t like kids. To each his own, I suppose. Chances are, if you don’t like my kid, I don’t like you though soooo 😀

JK! I understand that kids aren’t everyone’s jam. You do you, man.

By the same token, I also understand some people just aren’t comfortable around children. One of my friends is obviously in this category but, even so, she has still been involved with him & has worked really hard to get past it. Actually, I appreciate her even more because she makes an effort when she is admittedly uncomfortable in doing so.

A friend’s brother, who also falls into this category, made me LOL one day when coming by my house to address Eli with, “Hi, baby….” *looks at me “I don’t really know how to talk to babies.” My friend answered him back with, “Like he’s a person.” It was pretty epic 😀

I also feel like some people just can’t grasp how all consuming parenthood is & get a little peeved when you can’t hangout at the drop of a hat like you use to, or irritated with 90% of what I post on social media involving my child in some way (sorry not sorry, btw).

Whatever the reason, I have definitely noticed that my circle is a lot smaller since becoming a mom. What do you think? Has anyone else noticed this happening in their own lives? What do you think the reasons behind it are?

9

Mom Life: An Update

Wow, I cannot believe it has been a MONTH since my last post!! &, at the same time, I am laughing at myself for being half shocked at this. Since it has been a hot second since my last post, I wanted to give a bit of an update before I, hopefully, get back to posting more frequently.

Mom life is a busy life, to say the least & put it ever so lightly. We’re, at the end of this month, HALF WAY THROUGH OUR FIRST YEAR, & I am just now getting to the point where I can sneak in a shower…this shower looks like me sitting one of E’s activity chairs outside the shower beside me while I, more frequently than I’d like to admit, rip back the curtain to make sure he’s still doing just fine. Yeah, I’m a crazy person lol

Eli has also newly started entertaining himself for a few bits of time & babbling away. He cries for people & puts his little arms up when he wants to go to them (which is pretty intelligent, if I do say so myself lol), & loves Peppa Pig. He had his first cold starting last week & it has been the saddest thing to watch because I just want to fix it & make him better in an instant…& not give him the breathing treatments he so hates with a passion. Unfortunately, we are still not sleeping through the night yet. We sleep quite terribly actually. lol Feel free to bring me all the coffee!!!

We are still living in Eastern, KY & also still hate it. We’ve came to the conclusion, a few months ago actually, that this just isn’t where we are suppose to be. Our old town felt like our home, despite the fact that we are actually both from here originally, & we’ve been homesick in the worst way. Because of this, we’ve never gotten settled into the new place, are tired of feeling unsettled, & want to go home. We are both  looking for jobs there & hope to get moved back ASAP. We know we will be much happier there, as we were never dissatisfied living there before, & saying Eli will have so much more to do is an understatement. There is literally nothing for children to do here….they have a Gatti Land, for older kiddos, & A FEW parks that hail in comparison to the ones in Lexington….that’s it! No Gymbroee classes, no baby swim classes, no mom/baby groups, no family days, nothing! If I want to run now, I literally have to drive 35 minutes to get to a place to do that. It takes about 20 minutes to get to a grocery store. It’s insane when we were both accustom to being 5 minutes away from everything we needed, or wanted on any given day.

Other than that, I feel like I’m still trying to find some balance in this whole mom thing to find some time for myself. As a social worker, I know self-care is so important but, as a parent, those moments are few & far between. Even so, I think we need to prioritize ourselves sometimes, too. For me, I think going out to dinner with a friend, date night, & a girl day on occasion (&, lets be honest, going to Target because who doesn’t love that? LOL)  will be my go to self-care days. We shall see how that goes since I also never want to leave my tiny human.

To my followers: How have you been?? What’s new??? I know I’m so behind on your posts & feel out of touch with my WordPress fam. Sending love to all of you! Xo

Also, does anyone have any tips on how to sneak in some self-care as a parent, or on improving baby sleep? I’d LOVE to hear it! 

Until then, I’ll leave you with a few pictures of little man 🙂  

3

Postpartum Vultures

Ever since I’ve had Elijah I’ve been approached by several individuals who found me on some form of social media one way or another. Individuals who are either wanting to sell me a product, or enlist me in whatever fitness program they’re selling. I can only guess these people found me through hashtags relating to babies & the like (since some noted that they’d noticed I was a new mom). When looking further into the issue, it became clear that I am not alone in this sick phenomena.

For one, I think it’s very sad that people are using motherhood to prey upon people & take advantage of new moms who may be vulnerable in their new bodies & fluctuating hormones in order to make a profit for themselves.

After struggling with an eating disorder for years, I’m finally in a place where I love my body & truly appreciate all it has done for me. Watching it grow & change in pregnancy, birth, & then, somehow, snap back from it all is astonishing to me. But I know too well I didn’t arrive at that mindset overnight & worry about the woman who haven’t arrived in this mindset that are being hunted by these people. Women who, for the first time in their lives, may see numbers on a scale they’ve never seen before. Women who think they’ll never, “get their body back,” & are self-conscious about the body motherhood has given them.

For me personally, it also took me four years to be immeasurably blessed with my sweet boy that my body grew & even longer for me to learn to love my body. Yes, it has scars. Yes, it has a few stretch marks. But I’m finally at a place where all of that is okay & I’m in awe on what my body is capable of. 

 I want to use my body to enjoy the sweet boy I thought I’d never get to have. I want to use it to continue meeting my goals, one being working up to a 5K because running is fun & it’s something we do together-not because I want to lose weight or,”get rid of,” my body.  I want to use it to enjoy life & live it to the fullest, not to count calories, eat, “meal replacements,” or obsess about covering it with creams. I’ve lived that life for far too long & know too well it’s not a life.

If you’re someone preying upon new mothers, or anyone, in order to make a profit for yourself, shame on you.

If you’re being targeted by these individuals, know it isn’t about you & your body is absolutely amazing just the way it is. ❤

0

Pregnancy Update

After our regular scheduled programming-I mean Dr’s appointment yesterday :P- I thought I’d do another pregnancy update. Looking back for the other I did, I quickly realized it’s been a good while since I’ve updated (oops!).  So, without further ado:

How far along? 26 weeks & 5 days

Weight Gain? Around 13 pounds

Maternity Clothes? All of them. Just all of them lol My favorite thing is my Jessica Simpson top. I can still wear some of my stretchy tops & dresses, though.

Stretch Marks? On my sides

Belly button in or out? Still in…miraculously enough 😀

Sleep: For the most part, this is still okay. It is starting to get a bit interrupted with random bouts of insomnia, back/hip pain, & trips to the bathroom.

Best moment this week: Hopefully, this will be passing the gestational diabetes test we took yesterday *fingers crossed. Until this can be confirmed later today, it was our appointment going well yesterday & hearing everything looked fine &, again, being told he’s a, “big boy.”

Symptoms: My heartburn & nausea is back

Miss Anything? I still miss sushi & wine. But, again, I’d happily give that & anything else up for life if it meant I got to have this.

Movement: LOTS!!!

Cravings? Again…SUSHI!!!! &, oddly, rum…this baby is a pirate! 😛 Also, anything sweet.

Food aversions? Chicken!!!

Queasy or sick? Sometimes

Looking forward to? Our baby shower I never thought we’d get to have tomorrow!!!! We are having one near our hometown for our family & friends there & another at our home near the end of the month.

Anything new? Instead of monthly appointments, I’ll now be having biweekly appointments….which is exciting & mildly scary at the same time since that means we’re nearing the end & we aren’t anywhere near ready yet. We also signed up for hypnobabies & begin classes on the 12th of this month!

Complications / Medications? Still taking Lovenox injections, baby Aspirin, & Methylfolate daily. Complications: None since whenever ending infections have ceased!

Nursery Update: Yeah, about that….we haven’t done anything since the last update 😀 Another oops! We have what we plan on hanging above the dresser & decorating, just need to mount it to the wall so I can decorate it. Also still on the list: finding what I want to hang behind the crib/decorate, finding bedding I want, & curtains, & either having the carpet in his room professionally shampooed or putting down the rest of the laminate flooring we have left over down in there.

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5

A Late Update

My apologies for updating everyone a bit late! I had planned to right after our appointment but we didn’t find out the results until late that evening & I was on the road.

Our ultrasound was at 10 yesterday at the hospital, which totally helped with the whole anxiety element. Scott met me there. Surprisingly, I even had to wear one of those fun/itchy hospital bands for it that he later cut off with his pocket knife.

When we were called back, the tech asked why I was getting the ultrasound so I filled her in & also told her what the Dr. had told me in regards to what they were looking for. She nodded & then informed me I’d be having two ultrasounds done, an abdominal one & also a transvaginal to check the cervical length. First I’ve heard of this, I thought. Even more fun.

Baby had, we think, just woken up when she started because his heartbeat was 132 (it’s usually a lot higher) & he wasn’t moving around quite as much as he normally does…this soon changed when he realized what was happening & she struggled getting him to hold still. Kid hates ultrasounds…& dopplers, apparently. Always moves away! She even called him rotten. She took a bunch of measurements & pointed out a few things to us in regards to where certain body systems were. We also got to hear how much he currently weighs for the first time, which was exciting. One pound & 10 ounces as of yesterday, I believe. He measured a week ahead on height, which isn’t surprising given my husband & father in law’s stature.

Then came time for the fun part, another round with the dildo cam! Which, just let me say, is even more fun when you have a bigger baby floating around inside you. We were not amused. While she was moving it around she told me she needed to check my cervix so she’d have to push on my abdomen & it would probably be uncomfortable. Yep, no questions asked about the uncomfortable. She did this twice, then it was over.

We were on our way to the OB’s office….where we’d wait, & wait, & wait.

Apparently, thanks to some idiotic new system the company has as a whole, my Dr. couldn’t get the results of the ultrasound to interpret. We waited an hour & 30 minutes &, at that point, the Dr. came in to apologize that they still couldn’t access the ultrasounds. We were told we’d get a call when they did on those.

She  explained again what they were looking for on the ultrasounds & said she could do another exam since we were there. At that point, we both felt like, since we were there anyway, we may as well in case anything else came up. She noted my discharge still looked better & then checked my cervix again (ouch) to make sure it was still closed. She said that it was still thick & closed.

And then we waited…….until 4 that evening for ultrasound results. Finally, the nurse called me & said that the cervical length was 4 & that was good. Cervix also appeared competent & the placenta was no where near the cervix, just like they were hoping for.

So all is, thankfully, good. We are guessing the brown spotting I had this week was just old blood from my cervix being irritated from the meds I’d just finished.

THANK YOU, TO EVERYONE WHO SAID PRAYERS FOR US, SENT GOOD THOUGHTS, & ASKED ABOUT US!!!!!! I am so sorry it took me so long to update. I was driving when I got the call & then my friend took me out for my Birthday a day early so I didn’t get home till late & then was exhausted by the time I did.

We appreciate you all more than you will ever know. ❤

2

Favorite Things Friday: Free Stuff

Special Thursday edition! 😄

I love getting things in the mail, there I said it. Judge me. If you buy something online, it’s like Christmas all over again when it finally arrives. What I love even more than this is when said stuff is FREE!!!!! You read that right, free! 

Take a look at this sweet welcome box I got from Amazon: 


Included was an 80 pack of sensitive wipes, a teether/toy, a Philips bottle (natural bottle), wipe case, Muslin swaddle, nursing pads, & some samples!!!!! Expectant mamas: all you have to do in order to get all of this FREE is create a baby registry at Amazon & make a $10.00 purchase from it. 

Target also gives out a free welcome box of some sort but I’m not sure what is included as the store has been out of them when I’ve checked on it. When I find out, I’ll let you know 🙂 

Also, if you plan on formula feeding, Similac mails out free samples as well. I use to get them when we were going through the throws of Infertility treatment & be so mad so I remember getting those samples well. 

Are there any free samples that have been a favorite for you (baby or otherwise)??? What were they???