Mine were just in reverse.
Tuesday, after 3 years since seeing a positive pregnancy test, a miracle-I don’t know what else to call it-occured. I squinted down, more than once, to see, “Pregnant, 1-2 weeks,” which was right on par with where I should be.
The next morning, after being told the night before that mamaw was improving, I got a phone call. She passed away.
I lost my best friend in the entire world Wednesday.
The person who made me who I am, loved me when I wasn’t very lovable, took care of me when I was sick, talked about me constantly to friends and family, & watched I Love Lucie with me entirely too late most nights growing up.
There are no words.
I will always love you Lucie…forever your Ethel 👵🏽❤️❤️❤️❤️
The first night of visitation was today & it was also the best & worst day of my life. It was the best because, this morning, we went to a local lab to get a second HCG that, not only doubled, but quadrupled. The number was 87! It was the worst because it was the first day I had to say goodbye to my best friend. My rock.
When I said goodbye to her tonight, I did find solace in that, when I started crying for the thousandth time today, I heard her say, “Don’t cry, sissy.” It’s something she always said to me…even though my heart is completely shattered, I know she would be so happy I, hopefully, won’t have to do any more fertility drugs & that we finally, hopefully, got our miracle baby. That’s what she would want.
I hate that I never got to tell her & she will never get to meet them here but I find solace in that God gave us our baby at the perfect time and also that I like to believe she played a part in it.
“You were like my mother. You were my best friend. You’re everything I wanna be & all the good inside of me thats never been. Never be another, love me like you did. My grandmother, my angel.”
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Back to the numbers, what do my infertility ladies think on that????Are they good??? Do they look like we’ll avoid an ectopic or miscarriage???? Any thoughts appreciated……
Again, if you have me on social media, please do not mention this until after we announce. I’ve been through hell in all the infertility treatments and planned about 399238403 different announcements. lol
Disorderly Love 