The Lottery

When I woke up this morning, I was nothing but a ball of nerves…filled with pee since someone at the Dr’s office told me to have a full bladder…which I ended up not even needing.

When I finally got called back, I was full of dread. I didn’t want to go. It was the strangest thing. I literally thought of just sitting there but Scott was standing up as soon as they got out half of Β our last name so that wasn’t an option lol When we got back the tech started off by saying, “So what’s been going on?” & we froze. “Have you had some bleeding, or something?” & then our eyes widened. Had my Dr. wanted us to have this ultrasound because she thought something was wrong?????? We answered her & filled her in on what Doc thought it stemmed from. She said okay, “well I’m not gonna be able to tell you anything today.”

More nerves.

It was a transvaginal ultrasound, hence the not needing the surplus of liquid I was instructed to fill my bladder with.

She had warned us we probably wouldn’t hear the heartbeat because it was so early but said she would try for us. Time seemed to speed by as she clicked a bunch of times. She told us she was just snapping a bunch of pictures for now. Near the end, she said the words we were PRAYING so hard she’d say, “I see the gestational sac. Here it is,” pointing to the screen, “and this little flicker is the baby. It’s measuring right at 5 weeks & 1 day.”

We were both speechless. When she’d said she saw the sac my body went into a bit of a shock. I couldn’t believe it. We were stunned & just so, so thankful.

I never believed we’d get here. After all the failure & all the heartache here we were….having our first pregnancy ultrasound. There are not words for how good that feels.

I am so incredibly thankful for every single person that has been invested in our journey. Those who have followed along, cheered us on, believed in us, PRAYED for us, sent us good vibes, & just cared to ask how things were going….thank you, will never be enough. Above all, I keep telling everyone this is all God. We were a double IVF failure, a 3 time IUI strike out, & had a 1-2% chance of getting pregnant on our own without invasive treatment.

With the right OB, a whooooooole lot of God, & some mild fertility drugs (Femera & progesterone), we have arrived.

Now….we just need your continued prayers it stays that way!!!!!!!!! We both feel like, for one, we will feel a lot better once we get through this week/next since I’ve miscarried in the 5th week twice & somewhere in between the 5th & 6th once. I am really hoping we get in with my Dr. soon as well so we can rest a little easier we hope.



13 thoughts on “The Lottery

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s