Infertility: Through A Husband’s Eyes

This is the article I mentioned in my previous post.

I think it’s a neat article & wanted to share for a couple of reasons:

  1. While many women blog & post about their perspective on infertility in social media, we rarely get to hear about the male/partner perspective. We share with each other the insane effects of drugs and the struggle of trudging through treatments but we don’t get to see this through the lens of our partners near as much.
  2. As I read this, I kept finding myself copying & pasting paragraphs to share with the post before I shared it on Facebook. Every word seemed to perfectly capture what we’ve been through. It was like a window to my soul & I felt as if this man, who I obviously never met, knew me better than any man in the world.
  3. Lastly, it has a happy ending…& we all need to hear about more of those, right? 🙂

Here are some highlights that really resonated with me (there were more but i eventually just stopped copying & pasting):

“For Leah, we eventually figured out, this meant a regimen of hormone boosters to facilitate egg production. Are you aware of what happens to people when their hormones go out of the norm? They are not happy. Unless they are happy, in which case, they are very happy. There is no mild. There is no average day. Her job was to feel like her brain and soul were on fire.
My job was to try and not say anything dumb, because she also needed to be calm. I tried to avoid triggering phrases like ‘Hey,’ or ‘Good morning,’ or ‘I love you,’ but I kept f**king up, and opening my mouth, or allowing Leah to see TV programs, or commercials, to read books, and interact with the world in any way.”
And sometimes her period comes, and you start over. Step one. And sometimes it doesn’t come. But the second line doesn’t appear, or the plus, or the whatever these tests do. So you wait. And it’s negative, but you hope, and you see your friends getting pregnant, and you get a little sad. But you get mad at yourself because you want to feel happy for other people, and that’s not fair to them. And then the 17-year-old across the street gets pregnant, and you get a little sadder. And your cousins get pregnant, and you get a little sadder.
And we want to tell you, but people don’t talk about it. Because you don’t want to talk about it.
Because you spend all day thinking about it, managing it. Trying not to cry. Trying to not turn into HI and Ed from Raising Arizona, stealing babies in the night.”

You can find the full article here: http://www.littlethings.com/dan-leah-pregnancy-journey/

 

 

 

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