Infertility & Rural Areas

In recent years, women are typically having children later in life. Since the time of Rosie The Riveter & the we can do it all generation, women want degrees first and motherhood second.

At least, that’s the case in most communities within the U.S. Deep within the hills of Appalachia, is one exception to this cultural norm.

Soon after I graduated high school, & some even before this, most of my peers got married. After that, they immediately began having children. It’s been eight years since we all left our last four years of regular schooling behind and most of them have at least two children already.

My sister followed a similar path when she graduated, immediately getting married the month after and having her first child before her first anniversary.

In short, while the rest of the country is holding off parenthood while they get their dream jobs,  a lot of Appalachians are not following suit.

As someone who is infertile, you automatically feel like an outsider. Everyone your age is talking about pregnancies, gender reveals, baby showers, and first birthdays while all you can do is nod and pray no one asked the loaded question, “when are you going to have kids????”

Couple being infertile AND being Appalachian and you’re in for even worse of a disconnect. While most of my cohort’s children have already or are now entering pre-school, etc we still haven’t gotten our miracle baby.

Scrolling through my newsfeed, I see most of my old classmates posting baby photos and talking about not knowing what sleep is and I’m still over here posting about my fur babies, caffeine fixes, and, until recently, grad school.

Facing infertility is difficult at best for anyone. Once you reach a certain age literally everyone is pregnant. Where I’m from, however, this occurred at a much faster rate. Instead of everyone I knew getting knocked up around their late 20’s & early 30’s, people were doing it at 18-20 years old.

I’m not sure if this is the product of rural areas in gender or just an Eastern, KY thing, but it’s something I’ve been thinking about for a long time.

So, until we get our BFP, I’ll be over here like…….

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Are you from a rural area?? Have you observed much of the same?? 

What are your thoughts????

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2 thoughts on “Infertility & Rural Areas

  1. I’m not from a rural community (my hometown is about 50 minutes outside of Chicago), but I definitely know how it feels to feel like a misfit or out of place being a military spouse. I’m 30 and my husband is 33- people our age either have two kids by now & counting or are done. It was a very lonely and weird feeling during our miscarriage & TTC again, especially because there were mandatory events that we had attend (balls, meetings, “family” events). Luckily, my work schedule got me out of quite a few of those (besides the balls). Women younger than me would be holding their babies or running after their toddlers- all while talking about mom stuff- and I’d be twiddling my thumbs trying to find some common ground to talk about, haha. Different in some ways, but I can relate as well! Xoxo

    Liked by 2 people

    • Definitely sounds relatable to me!
      Infertility in general is such an isolating & all consuming feeling. & it definitely doesn’t get any easier when adding something else into the mix- be it being from a rural community or a military spouse.
      I’m glad you guys have your happy ending now, though 🙂 Wishing you all the best!!
      Xoxo

      Liked by 2 people

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