A while back, I did a post on my tattoos & the meaning they hold for me.
Yesterday, as an early Birthday present to myself, I got another.
A very special tattoo that symbolizes my miscarriage & the four embryos we lost through both rounds of IVF.
There were a few quotes that spoke to me in relation to the babies I never got to meet but, ultimately, the one above resonated with me most.
It reads, “It was then I carried you,” followed by 5 partially filled in hearts.
There was also some semblance in the placement I chose. The ribs are said to be one of the most painful places on the body to be tattooed, as it is directly on bone. For me, infertility & all that has came with it, has been a pain that feels insurmountable. I wanted to really feel the words being etched in my skin so that, in turn, I could emotionally feel the weight of the pain.
As I was laying there with my headphones blaring from the playlist I made, I thought of a lot of things. Mostly, I thought of what I wanted to say to the children I’ll never know. The things I would’ve wanted for them. How much I would have, & will always, love them. &, now, how to say goodbye.
But that is for another post.
Enjoy the images of me getting this bad boy yesterday.