Post IVF Fail Consult: Take Two

Driving into the fertility center this morning, I thought to myself that, by now, I could probably get there with my eyes closed. As heavily flakes of snow fell from the sky, I walked inside to wait on Scott & compile a list of questions for our RE.

Taking us back, the nurse apologized that we were here….again, no pregnancy in tow. When our Dr. walked in, he too apologized, adding, “If I had a magic wand to wave and make you pregnant, I would.”

He started by reviewing how many eggs were retrieved as a whole both attempts, how many of those were viable, & how many we ended with. He noted that my eggs were deemed, “mediocre,” the first time & granular, not tolerating the injection well, during the 2nd IVF.

Before I could get to my list of questions, he answered one for me. After talking about my shotty eggs, he informed us that donor eggs were an option. Apparently, if you have someone who is willing to be a donor for you, it’s 15, 000. If not, it can run up to 20, 000-30, 000. Which we sure don’t have!

Embryo adoption was also mentioned. The closest one is located in Knoxville and pricing rages from 7, 000-10, 000…which could be doable for us at some point. Our Dr. was also clear to mention even this wasn’t a guarantee, as nothing ever is in infertility.

& now, on to the questions I had he hadn’t already answered:

  1. Why would our embryo quality have been worse the 2nd time?

“Eggs can vary from month to month, as can sperm/quality.”

2. What can be done to improve egg quality?

“Short answer? Nothing.”

3. Is there a point for us to try IVF again?

“I would be willing to try it one more time, whatever you’re comfortable with.”

4. Opinion on an FET for the 1 embryo we have frozen?

He said it would be definitely be worth a try because, “what else are you going to do with it?” Our embryo frozen is, according to him, a good embryo and has a 90% chance of surviving the thaw. With that, the pregnancy rate for just the 1 is 25%. If we had 2 embryos to transfer with an FET, it would go up to 50%

5. Scott’s added question: what are our chances of conceiving naturally?


With all of that being said, I walked away feeling much worse about the consult. In our first one, I feel like our RE was much more hopeful about things….he’d told he wasn’t ready to give up on us yet. This time, he made it sound like he understood if we wanted to not. My egg quality also held a much bleaker outlook. Other options were considered….it was just incredibly disheartening overall.

At this point, we let him know we planned to take a break for at least 6 months. After that, we’ll decided whether or not if we want to try IVF one last time or do a FET with our one embryo we already have.


14 thoughts on “Post IVF Fail Consult: Take Two

  1. I’m not a doctor and apologize if this is unwelcome but have you read It Starts With The Egg by Rebecca Fett? It’s all about what you can do to improve your own egg quality. Not all doctors buy into what she says but it’s interesting to read none the less…

    Liked by 1 person

      • I’m so sorry hon the consult wasn’t as you hoped for. And I am so sorry that you have no real answers. This truly sucks to not have any explanation. When I asked my doc about improving egg quality she said there isn’t much she believed in either, but followed on with anything is worth a try – like acupuncture, coq10 (I was already taking) and royal jelly.

        I have the book ‘It starts with the Egg’ I’ll post you my copy if you would like it email me I’ve read it about 5 times now – It’s an interesting read.

        I hope your time to pause will help you rebuild your strength and take some time to research and understand your options. Hoping you find all these things – big hugs for you X

        Liked by 2 people

  2. I’m sorry it was the best news. A break would do you good I think. But I’m in full agreement with everyone else. I think there are things you can do to improve egg quality. That book is well worth the read. I’ll be keeping you in my thoughts. xx

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I’m so sorry that the news wasn’t good. Hopefully this time will give you the opportunity to draw out a plan. I can’t imagine the devastation you must be feeling. However, I’m confident that you will be a mom soon. *hugs*

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I’m gutted for you! That doesn’t sound like a productive appointment at all. Like, sure, just spend another 30k on a vague whim! I would be mad / upset too. I hope that you can have a relaxing break and possibly get some more clarity on what might be the best route forward. Thinking of you guys. X

    Liked by 1 person

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