A Goodbye Letter To Infertility TX (For Now)

Dear infertility treatments,

This is our goodbye.

It’s not a goodbye forever, it’s just goodbye for now.

IVF doesn’t always end like this:

Sher Fertility

 

Sometimes, it ends with a basket full of needles stuffed behind clothes that are never worn in your closet that you can’t bare to look at. Safety tucking away all that might have been.

Even though our 3 IUIs & 2 IVF’s ended unsuccessfully, once again, I am so very thankful for the outpouring of love we’ve received since we began our journey. To everyone who has sent cards, prepared sweet gifts, asked about how things were going, etc, we thank you. We are more thankful than you will ever know. It has made the frequent invasive doctor’s visits, the procedures, the mood swings, & the heartbreaking disappointment easier to carry.

As we Β mourn our journey thus far & the 4 embryos that just weren’t strong enough to stick, we will likely need more of that for a time. However, our break does not mean our lives are over like I originally felt like it would….it means the pause button on them has been released.

For now, we are going to enjoy life & each other for a few uninterrupted months. We are also begging our journey in fostering to adopt, which we are both very much excited about.

A lot of things are uncertain right now. What we wrong. Why IVF, again, has failed us. Why my egg quality is mediocre at 25. Etc, etc.

What is not uncertain, we hope, is that we will end up being parents eventually….just not right now. Not in the way we originally intended.

As I was driving away from the hospital where I had my HCG checked, I flipped on the radio. It was on a Christian station that I didn’t turn it to. Joyce Meyer was on & I happen to like her so I left it. She said something to the gist of this,

“If God is testing you greatly, like no one else in your life, the reward will be great.”

I believer that…I believe that maybe, just maybe, I was suppose to be begin my motherhood by being someone special’s adopted mommy first. Someone I may not have had in my life had events not unfolded the way they have…..that is what I choose to believe at this very moment.

Again, to all those who have been so supportive through it all, we thank you from the bottom of our hearts.

Cesilee & Scott ❀

PS This does NOT mean my blogging journey on infertility is over, maybe it has just began…..

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16 thoughts on “A Goodbye Letter To Infertility TX (For Now)

  1. I’m sorry this round didn’t work out and I know there is a grieving process that goes with it. After my second round of failed IVF, I struggled with how to keep the journey going. But you are doing great…you are meant to be a mommy and it will happen. I wish you all the best in your efforts to do foster to adopt. You both have so much to offer a child.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I am so sorry this cycle didn’t work. You are going to be an amazing mother and I can’t wait to hear about your journey fostering to adopt. If you ever need a shoulder to cry on, remember I am just one city away!

    Liked by 2 people

  3. I’m sorry to hear this cycle didn’t work. But you have a great attitude towards the future and a plan – which is fabulous. Good luck with fostering to adopt and I look fwd to hearing about it on your blog x x

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Oh no! I’m gutted to read this! I completely understand why you need some time out. But please don’t go away completely… I really enjoy your blog and selfishly I want to stay in touch! Look after yourselves. I know our “time off” has been quite freeing, in a way. Sending you hugs. X

    Liked by 2 people

    • No worries there! I’m definitely not taking a break from blogging, just infertility treatments for now. It has been much needed for a while now.
      Thanks, for the support hugs-they’re much appreciated ❀️❀️ xo

      Liked by 2 people

  5. Oh Sweetie, I’m sorry it didn’t work out the way we all hoped it would for you. I love your plan going forward though. I know that’s how we felt also when we chose to stop treatments and move onto adoption and then God ended up leading us into fostering too. You never know how His plans for us will happen and work out! Sending you love and hugs!

    Liked by 1 person

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