(You can thank my nerdy husband for forcing me to watch Star Wars for that one).
We met with our RE this dreary & dark rainy morning for a post IVF followup…AKA talking about why it may have failed & where to go from here.
I counted at least three times that he told us not to give up. He said he wasn’t ready to give up on us yet…which makes me feel somewhat hopeful, even here in the dark. He also shared with us that he & his wife tried IVF three times, two of which ended in failures. On their third try, they got triplets, which he half smiled in saying, & told us they were all 22 years old now.
Which also helped us feel less hopeless in this daunting mission.
We also discussed the possibility of why IVF may not have worked for us, besides dumb luck. Apparently, my egg quality was below average…he said that this may have been a direct result of me being overstimulated & producing a whopping 36 eggs. With so many, quality can be compromised.
Or….we could have another fertility issue on our hands. He said that, “I have this theory that infertile people are attracted to one another.” While it isn’t certain I also have a fertility issue working against us (we won’t know that until at least one more egg retrieval), it’s incredibly devastating to hear. Obviously, one fertility issue is bad enough but with two…I envision two giant buildings on fire &, here you are, one little firemen trying to put them both out.
On the bright side, I am thankful that he seems to put things out there fairly honestly…he told us that, in some cases, he does tell couples that it’s time to discuss other options….other options being sperm donation, egg donors, & adoption. But, as of right now, he’s confident we are, “not there yet.”
So what now?
Well, like us, I got the impression from him that he felt chances of the one remaining frozen embryo were incredibly slim…it’d be a 30% chance…& we have two things working against us, at least in that cycle anyway (egg quality & sperm morphology).
Although it is half the cost, with just one embryo who has the odds stacked against it, it’s not something we want to invest in right now…for the emotionally toll alone, it is not something I want to go through right now…so that baby will remain frozen until we have at least one more to freeze alongside it & do an FET at a later date (hopefully for a second baby).
If at all possible, we hope to do a new IVF cycle next month. Our RE told me to go ahead & start taking birth control today…
So that’s that…we’re looking at every possible avenue in getting the funds together for a second go. We need half upfront…maybe I should go see Santa at the mall to plop down in his lap & tell him I need babies…opposed to the toddlers, it may or may not be the creepiest thing the old man has heard all day. lol