With the fresh fail of IVF weighing on our hearts & minds, we’ve been understandably devastated ever since getting the news. The terrible news that, despite the fact that we spent 12, 500 dollars (not to mention the 4000 that was already wasted on the failed IUIs) on the treatment, I underwent surgery for egg retrieval, a painful transfer when putting our two embies back in, AND a s*it ton of shots (Lets not forget the shots), our efforts were thwarted.

There was no rainbow baby for me on the way….only more debt, headache, & immense devastation. At this point, I’m almost okay with all the IUIs not working….not okay but less invested in them really at this point..but for IVF to have failed, a last ditch effort for most couples, you’re hit with loads of bricks right to the stomach. Sucker punched right off your unicorn.

It didn’t work. Things are no different than when you started. All the hope you had in that magic answer of a treatment….gone.

After being completely submerged into a sea of depression with the news for the majority of the weekend, we formed a plan…a new hope…that did not come after many tears & lashing out-at other people (thankfully, mostly road rage as we completely isolated ourselves from friends and family), things, & one another. Infertility is such a dirty thing.

So here we are…wanting what all infertile couples in the pursuit of baby want…answers.

We want to know why, after 16, 000 has been throw away and we have a diagnosed fertility issue, why did this very aggressive treatment fail? What went wrong? How do we change that?

So I compiled a list of questions for our RE’s office that we are hoping to get answered tomorrow. I’ve listed them below. For those of you who have gone through IVF already, most especially if you experienced a failed cycle, please let me know if there’s anything we should add to the list. We appreciate all the help we can get at this point…..

  1. Reasons IVF may not have worked for us?
  2. Were there any concerns with embryo quality, sperm, or eggs? What can be done to improve it?
  3. Will the same med. Regimen be used as before?
  4. How soon can we try another cycle (period started Friday afternoon)?
  5. Financing: other couple said Akin allowed them to open 2 accounts, how does that work? Is it an option for us?
  6. What options do we have with the Frozen embryo? What are the chances of that being successful? How much lower are they opposed to a new IVF cycle?
  7. Can we have the embryologist report for the quality of the eggs, sperm analysis, and embryos?
  8. Could transfer being difficult have effected IVF being successful?
  9. Could pre-implantation testing (PGD) give us any insight as to what the problem is?
  10. What are the risks to embryos with PGD?



6 thoughts on “Answers

  1. I don’t know what to add to your questions. Here in the UK they don’t even expect IVF to work every time (it’s like a 1 in 4 chance apparently) so when I asked “Why?” it was more assumed that I was just one of the 3 in 4 for whom it doesn’t work. That’s why they give us 3 tries in our area. For some they only get 1, or none. It must be even harder to deal with when you have to pay so much for it – I’m so sorry that it didn’t work for you and I hope you get some answers. x

    Liked by 2 people

    • Thanks, love….it is much of the same here at the majority of clinics…we had a 76% chance of of success so a 1 in 4..we were the 1 in 4…I’m just wondering if they can estimate as to why things didn’t work out when we were being told everything was going perfectly up until it didn’t /: I am very much hoping we get our answers tomorrow…..xo ❤

      Liked by 2 people

  2. I might be too late- but wanted to wish you luck and hope you get answers to these questions. Honestly I asked the majority of these questions too, everyone is different, but like Nara said about expecting IVF to fail, they will probably tell you it’s unlucky – which is a SUCKY response when you have good odds and spent so much money. But getting some answers about your protocol and esp as you had so many mature eggs, I am sure there is something they can do differently next time to get you a few more embies. I know how you feel right now about having just one blast frozen- it’s a tough choice to make-go with what you both feel is right, it may take some time to make that decision X

    Liked by 2 people

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