Ever since evening out after my miscarriage two years ago, my periods have been fairly normal. REGULAR even.
All was well in the land of Kotex tampons & vajayjays. Until we entered into the wonderful world of infertility treatment.
Once I started Clomid (AKA Satin’s antidote), I started spotting a few days leading up to my period. I didn’t even really have the opportunity to wait the whole 14 days & savor the dreaded TWW because my body wanted to pull a Kanye to say, “Ima let ya finish but….ain’t nothin up in here, bitch!”
Now here we are, present day (cue dramatic music) to the month without fertility drugs. The month that was suppose to be one of two that consisted of butterflies, unicorns, & unmedicated/anti hormonal bliss.
Nope! Hold up, yells my uterus!
Here I was, basking in the glory of the absence of any & all drugs in my system (minus Zoloft because Lord knows I need that shit!). Drinking all the coffee, tea, & diet coke I can get my hands on before the fertility diet & IVF cycle rears its terrifying head. Playing with cute puppies….eyeing my imaginary unicorns & wild horses…..then BAM!
Spotting commenced. Did my uterus stop there? No, sir (or mam, may be more appropriate in this case). The spotting has turned into a full blown war zone. Someone better call in the National Gyno because it’s getting real.
Do I sound annoyed to you? It’s because I am. Clomid has made me a raging bitch. Any negative event in my life is hereby blaimed on this mind altering substance. I’m having mood swings. Mood swings like Stew’s wife, later ex wife, in the Hangover (BECAUSE SHE WAS CRAY CRAY!!). On top of that, the gates of hell even returned with hot flashes earlier today. Hot flashes! Am I 50?? I think not. Am I on Clomid this month?? I DIDN’T FREAKING THINK SO!!!!
Have I mentioned that hey, my uterus is NOT suppose to be our issue. Get it together body…you are making me a nervous wreck.
This bloody massacre even induced a panic attack when it went down. I have anxiety anyway…in regular life…imagine that TIMES 100 in infertility treatment.
Will this mess up IVF? Will it not work now? Will we be wasting 12, 000 (& some odd change) dollars???
Who knows? I don’t know….I guess the poor nurse that answers my phone call tomorrow morning can answer all that (may God have mercy on her soul).
Until tomorrow, friends…