My Uterus Is A Real Bitch

Ever since evening out after my miscarriage two years ago, my periods have been fairly normal. REGULAR even.

All was well in the land of Kotex tampons & vajayjays. Until we entered into the wonderful world of infertility treatment.

Once I started Clomid (AKA Satin’s antidote), I started spotting a few days leading up to my period. I didn’t even really have the opportunity to wait the whole 14 days & savor the dreaded TWW because my body wanted to pull a Kanye to say, “Ima let ya finish but….ain’t nothin up in here, bitch!”

Now here we are, present day (cue dramatic music) to the month without fertility drugs. The month that was suppose to be one of two that consisted of butterflies, unicorns, & unmedicated/anti hormonal bliss.

Nope! Hold up, yells my uterus!


Here I was, basking in the glory of the absence of any & all drugs in my system (minus Zoloft because Lord knows I need that shit!). Drinking all the coffee, tea, & diet coke I can get my hands on before the fertility diet & IVF cycle rears its terrifying head. Playing with cute puppies….eyeing my imaginary unicorns & wild horses…..then BAM!

Spotting commenced. Did my uterus stop there? No, sir (or mam, may be more appropriate in this case). The spotting has turned into a full blown war zone. Someone better call in the National Gyno because it’s getting real.

Do I sound annoyed to you? It’s because I am. Clomid has made me a raging bitch. Any negative event in my life is hereby blaimed on this mind altering substance. I’m having mood swings. Mood swings like Stew’s wife, later ex wife, in the Hangover (BECAUSE SHE WAS CRAY CRAY!!). On top of that, the gates of hell even returned with hot flashes earlier today. Hot flashes! Am I 50?? I think not. Am I on Clomid this month?? I DIDN’T FREAKING THINK SO!!!!

Have I mentioned that hey, my uterus is NOT suppose to be our issue. Get it together body…you are making me a nervous wreck.

This bloody massacre even induced a panic attack when it went down. I have anxiety anyway…in regular life…imagine that TIMES 100 in infertility treatment.

Will this mess up IVF? Will it not work now? Will we be wasting 12, 000 (& some odd change) dollars???

Who knows? I don’t know….I guess the poor nurse that answers my phone call tomorrow morning can answer all that (may God have mercy on her soul).


Until tomorrow, friends…



4 thoughts on “My Uterus Is A Real Bitch

  1. What you are experiencing sounds completely normal. While I never had the pleasure (kidding!) of being on Clomid, I know it can mess up one’s cycle after stopping it. I know from my other fertility meds that my cycles were definitely messed up and heavy! Omg were they heavy! I would call the nurse in the morning because I imagine you will be put on birth control very soon to get everything on the clinic’s time schedule. Keep your head up girl! This won’t have any effect on the IVF cycle. It’s just your body’s way of getting revenge on you for all the meds 🙂 mine always takes revenge on me

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks, love!
      That makes me feel better….I hope they do go ahead with the birth control. I’m freaking out because I worry it’s going to thin out my lining.
      Good to know it won’t mess up my IVF chances. Infertility is full of anxiety…& hormones…lots of hormones lol
      Thanks!! ❤

      Liked by 1 person

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