Nine Days

For the majority of the population, nine days doesn’t seem like a lot. I remember when it wasn’t that way for me. For those of us in the midst of infertility & the dreadful 2 week wait, however, nine days is still an eternity. 

Will all of our efforts pay off this month, or will we land on a, “Return to home,” space again?

Half of me is in pure agony of the slow progression of days falling off the calendar….the other half? The other half is consumed with dread & fear. Fear that we, again, won’t get the answer I’ve been praying so hard for. Fear of more drugs, belly shots (& not the fun kind!), ultrasounds, & painful procedures will follow.

Mostly, I fear losing the tiny glimmer of hope I have during this time…..right now, at least I can tell a tiny part of myself that things may work out. Right now, as far as I know, I could already have a beautiful baby (or two) growing in our Build A Baby Workshop. 

& I don’t want to lose that hope because it’s what is keeping me going. It’s pushing me through my day a little at a time. After the disappointment of the first IUI not working, I’m clinging to that fleeting idea more than ever. In a way, I hate to see that go.

I really do….&, if you’ve read my other posts, you know just how much I loathe waiting. So that is saying a lotttttt, my friends.

Here we are again TWW….I hate your purgatory just as much as I did the first time. & now we wait!