Going into it, our fertility specialist really didn’t tell me what to expect at all. He wrote out the prescription, told me what days to take it on, & when to call to schedule the follicle ultrasound to time the IUI. The emotional roller coaster that never stops on these drugs was never explained to me. My therapist gave me more informed consent on their effects than he did, which is a little messed up in my opinion. Had I not done my own research & talked to other people who’d been through it, I would’ve had no idea what the hell was/is wrong with me when taking these meds.
What’s it like?
-Well, in the past hour, I’ve cried four times. I don’t know why. My body just felt like it I guess.
-Extreme, never ending, fatigue. Fatigue fit for marathon runners & night shift nurses. For me, naps happen only at one time in my life: when I am sick, sick. Any other time, I don’t do naps. They make me even more tired than I already was & I hate them…usually.
–Cramping. Luckily, this one has been more mild side effect wise for me.
–Random emotional flipouts.
–Amped up anxiety. Dear Clomid, I did NOT need any help here.
–It’s scheduling. Crazy Clomid is suppose to be taken at the same every day. There’s another post on my first day of this round talking about how I obsessively hit the home button on my iPhone until EXACTLY 10:30 clicked onto the screen. Logic. The trigger shot is much of the same. I was instructed to take it within a three & a half hour timeframe.
–It’s lonely. I don’t really have anyone to vent to. Not really anyway. When I do mention some weird side effect to my friends they’ll say, “That sucks.” “That sounds hard/awful!” & then, quickly & nervously, change the subject. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think they’re selfish or bad people in doing so…I just think they don’t know what to say so they move away from it the way people walk faster away from someone asking for money. & I get it….infertility isn’t something a lot of people openly talk about. It’s not a fun thing. It’s deeply painful.
I’d give anything for a 15 minute rant at Starbucks with someone about all this. In 15 minutes, I think maybe, just maybe, all my frustrations could be laid out & exercised from my mind & body (if only for a while).
What have fertility drugs been like for you?? Please feel free to share/comment.