PSA: ALERT ALERT!! Second round of Clomid started at 10:30 this morning. Why 10:30? Because it’s suppose to be taken at the same time every day so I manically hit the home button on my iPHONE over & over again like a crazed lunatic until the 29 disappeared (Crazy shit infertility makes you do).
Before getting my ass handed to me in round 1, I was nervous. At that point, I’d read & heard the horror stories. Stories of perfectly sane women evolving into the Hulk after a few doses.
& then I became one myself….which is why I’m even more anxious about being thrown into round 2.
After my 1st full day of Clomid, I cried at least four times…why? I can’t tell you because I don’t f$#@%ing know. Once I think it was because my dog refused to let me cuddle her so I was convinced she didn’t love me anymore (perfectly rational). A few other times, I was blissfully bobbling along & SUCKER PUNCH, I was Clomid’s bitch. Cry a river like you’ve just lost your best friend. Twice. & then there were the other side effects….like the random intensified road rage & moodiness/snappiness I’m sure I had with my husband (if you’re reading this, I’m already sorry for what’s headed your way this week).
I’ve already cried today…can’t tell you why. Maybe it’s stemming from the knowledge of what lies ahead in these coming days. Or, maybe I just dread it all in general. It’s exhausting, financially & especially emotionally. I called this morning to schedule my follicle ultrasound before IUI #2 thinking it would be next Friday but was told they wanted to do it Monday-a week from now. Not a whole lot sooner than originally expected but I’ve come to accept there’s no logic in this-the emotions are what they are. For reasons that would exhaust the best of rappers. They’re infinite.
Here we go, again Clomid. I already feel you & I am not ready. Here’s to hoping this is your last round with me.