We all have our go tos when things don’t go our way. Mine is cleaning. It reminds me of my mamaw (Southern word for grandmother)’s house &, consequently, makes me feel safe & secure just like she use to.

Today, after starting the morning with heart wrenching news, I made a choice….a choice to not lay around feeling sorry for myself all day &, instead, get up & be productive despite how the day began (after a good cry & an episode of SVU of, course #Priorities).

When finally mustering up enough courage to tackle the pile of laundry that devoured our guest bedroom, I couldn’t help but notice the stains I kept finding on the clothes. Every stack of them seemingly had more & more stains on them. It had been something I’d noticed for a few months prior but even more so today. & then I moved on to the dishes. In unloading the dishwasher, I picked up a water bottle & got even more disappointed when I found–you guessed it–yet another stain. 

& then I thought….just because I’ve found quite a lot of imperfections in our laundry & dishes today, does that mean I’m never going to do laundry, or dishes again? Does it mean, because I went through all the trouble of carrying the laundry downstairs, sorting it, loading it, & unloading it, that I’m not going to do it again? Does one stain on a stubborn water bottle constitute me allowing our counter to fill with dishes & then our floors?

There will always be stains in life….but that doesn’t mean we have to quit. It doesn’t mean everything we’ve done so far in a task is thwarted & we shouldn’t try anymore. 

& that’s how I feel about our big fat negative test this morning. So the first IUI was a fail after all the hard work we put into it, all I went through, & the high cost of everything involved….while we are devastated it wasn’t successful, it doesn’t mean future tries won’t be either….it doesn’t mean things are never going to work out….& that’s how I’m choosing to look at them today.

My stains didn’t stop me today. Instead, I looked at how I would change them. The stubborn water container needed a few brushes with our sink. Maybe the clothes need to be sorted differently in our laundry room. &, maybe, we just need to try a little harder at this fertility thing. Instead of sinking into a depression about our hopes not coming in line today, I researched what else we could do. I ordered my husband some fertility vitamins from GMC & we’re getting a gym membership today in hopes that both those things may help our fertility.

I hope your stains, whatever they might be, don’t stop you either. Sending lots of love ❤

On a positive note, I’ll leave you with some infertility humor……….


don't drink the water


4 thoughts on “Stains

  1. I’m sorry, Ces ❤ I love that you have this attitude though! I'm hoping for the best for you and Scott and thinking of you two all the time. Sending you love from back in FloCo! lol Love you!!

    Liked by 1 person

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