My Fertility Breakdown…..after IUI # 1

The moment today began, Tina Belcher (of Bob’s Burger’s) has been my spirit animal.

Bob: “Lets see your everything is okay face…..no, no, no…that’s bad.”

Tina Belcher everything is okay

If you’ve watched the show, you’re aware that Tina is say 10-12…so pretty much the age I felt today. I’m also confident in saying this is how my husband also felt today while I was basket case getting ready. &, lets not forget, he probably really felt it when I repeatedly asked him if he thought it was going to be okay & then, when getting back to the room, nearly having a panic attack. The whole scenario of me going to any gynecological procedure is the equivalent of taking a grade schooler to get shots. Lots & lots of shots. 

So, what is an IUI & how does it work?

IUI Procedure

Short & sweet explanation: A fertility treatment that places washed sperm into the uterus through a catheter. Typically, the men have an appointment an hour before the actual procedure to, “provide their sample.”      *wink, wink

This was also the case for us so, naturally, we made a Starbucks run before coming back to wait for my appointment. When the Dr. came in, he told us that Scott’s sperm count went up since the last sample he’d given & totaled to 16.6 million. Unfortunately, after washing it, there were 7.5 million left. While they like to see 10 million after a washing, he said he liked to see, at the very least, 5 million, & had even seen pregnancy with as little as 1 million little swimmers!

Another thing on our side today was the fact that I had 3 follicles in the ultrasound Tuesday. The more follicles=the more chances of pregnancy….&, apparently, twins…something he keeps bringing up to me. I am not sure if he’s just messing with me, or being serious…I guess time will tell. lol

Procedural wise, the IUI was, BY FARRRRR, less painful than the HSG test for me!!! It took, literally, less than a few minutes & I was shocked when he told me we were finished! After it was over, they had me lay down for five minutes before leaving. Even though it was a lot less painful this time around, I still had some cramping that started as he was doing it…& then some bleeding. Scott, who wins husband of the year today, tracked him down the hallway to ask if this was normal. According to him, it is. So there you have it! What to expect from an IUI.

& now……*drum roll…..my fertility breakdown:

Just like when I’d had the ultrasound a few days earlier, any & all coping skills I had went out the window when we got back to the room & the nurse told me I could get undressed and lay down. Thankfully, I have a really good husband who reads me incredibly well-even when I don’t want him to-who offered up some distractions.

So we took a selfie! lol

IUI 1 here we come!

My enthusiasm, like my Sephora lip stain, about this can be seen from miles away…..

When my pants came off, the panic set in. I was prepping for the inevitable, waiting for the main event to, very likely, wake up my PTSD again when all I wanted to do was let it sleep.

Coming in like a WWE wrestler, the dr started by rambling off the lab results from S’s semen analysis…then pulls out this huge catheter that, already, looked very pleasant (only not). As he plopped down on the seat in front of me, he noted that me being nervous was only going to make the process worse.

Then proceeded to shove a speculum that isn’t wanting to go into my death grip vajajay.  & then the cramping started.

For whatever reason, either from the IUI or Ovidrel shot &/or clomid, my stomach is now resembling someone who is four months pregnant thanks to my painfully swollen ovaries-which also helped with the overall pain I experienced during & after the procedural fun.

Fertility Drug Gains

I legit feel like I have gained 15 pounds over the course of a few hours. My stomach is swollen…it hurts…I feel like I’m wobbling like a baby duck, unsure as to what it’s doing…I am miserable. I want to crawl into a cave-no, wait. I’m totally not a roughing it type of girl-I want to crawl into a suite at a Holiday Inn Express & not come out for anything all weekend.

Worst of all, I’m well aware that, most of the time, a first try at IUI is not the end of the road..& that terrifies me. This walk has already been so emotionally & physically taxing for me that I am, for lack of better words, exhausted. I’m tried. And I already feel defeated. I have cried more than I ever have in my life since starting these drugs. My body has been even weirder, in a very different way, since my eating disorder. I am hoping, with everything in me, that this will be the one to work for us.

At the end of the day, I’m trying to remind myself that progress is FINALLY being made on our infertility journey (that’s a poor choice of words, isn’t it? This is the furthest thing from a fun trip), we tried our first IUI, & have 3 baby follicles that could give us our little prince, or princess…& everything will be worth it….

fingers crossed

fingers crossed

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6 thoughts on “My Fertility Breakdown…..after IUI # 1

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